For Author's Sake
by NoelScribe
Summary: Oh look some MLP smut featuring Ditzy Doo, or Derpy Hooves whatever you call out whilst you wank, and Twilight Sparkle! Dear me the world must be ending when it comes to Noel writing smut, oh well might as well give it a shot. *Clears throat* After a hot summer day of delivering parcels and mail, Ditzy is invited into Twilight's house. Little does she know its a seed of friendship.


**A/N:** I want to make something painfully clear before you proceed with the story if you haven't already skipped over this bit to wank, I don't always write smut. This isn't really smut either, its more like a mothafucking relationship and (shocker to all the virgins out there) relationship usually involve sex! "Dear me, Noel has given such wisdom to the masses, I might as well develop a personality and life so I too can have the sex involved in relationships!" You're welcome voice in my head. And with out further delay, please enjoy this plot. Te-he!

It was a warm day in the summer with the sun beating rays of heat upon the land like what a oven might do to a loft of bread. There wasn't a cloud in the sky besides the one a blue pegasus occupied for a nap since she couldn't seem to be bothered to do her damn job. Ditzy Doo on the other hand, hoof, was flying back to the once small town of Ponyville but by season two is now a goddamn city. She wiped the sweat from her brow as she staggerly flew to a large tree that had been converted into the town's library.

"Almost there." Ditzy, or Derpy, huffed as she pulled on her mailbag that rested on her shoulder. She landed wearily on the ground and knocked twice on the door, "Delivery!" She waited in the cool shade that the tree provided and fluttered her wings. The door opened to reveal a small purple dragon dinosaur thing with green spines running from his head to his tail.

He turned back and called, "Twilight, your books are here!"

"Thanks Spike!" Twilight came to the door as Spike began to journey off, "Where are you off to Spike?" He only turned back to shrug.

"I dunno, probably going to stalk Rarity. For author's sake, I'm not an important enough character to appear again in this story. It's pretty canon if you ask me." he blandly stated than walked off into the void.

"Author?" Ditzy, or Derpy, frowned in confusion.

Twilight shook her head and returned her attention to the grey pegasus, "Would you like to come inside Ditzy? You look like you could use some water." Ditzy, Derpy, happily nodded and followed Twilight inside. Twilight shut the door with her magic and went off down a hallway. It was much cooler indoors. Ditzy, Derpy, looked around in the library and got her gaze held by a book resting on a round table in the middle of the room that held a wooden horse head as a center piece. She looked at the book and began reading.

Twilight came back into the main library room with a pitcher of iced water and two glasses. She saw Ditzy, Derpy, reading her book and trotted towards her. Resting the drink and cups onto the table she looked over Ditzy's, Derpy's, shoulder.

"Oh, Ditzy can you understand that book?" Twilight smiled trying not to be an arse. "We have plenty of other books that you might like better..?" she offered as she gestered to the book filled walls. Ditzy, Derpy, you know what let's just call her fuckin' Derpy okay?

"But that's not her canon name!" Shut up voice! Anyway. Fuckin' Derpy looked hard at the pages then closed the book. To Twilight's surprise, Derpy held a satisfied look.

"It's a okay book. Though it doesn't cover the early stages of the Crystal Empire's monarch and relied too heavily on the enslavement of its people. Calling it a complete history is misplaced as it fails to even be a bland abuse of the culture and lore of the Crystal ponies. In the end I can only say this could be a suitable reference when it doesn't accomplish what it was set out to do." Derpy set the book down an turn toward Twilight who was frozen in awe mid-gesture. One of the glasses also fell and broke as she stared in disbelief, obviously she had a depth-perception problem. "Oh, did you like the book?" Derpy questioned in her usually cross-eyed confusion. "I'm sorry."

"N-no! Don't be Ditzy, that was really what I thought about it." Twilight happily explained as she picked of the glass fragments and fixed the cup with her magic. "I just didn't expect some pony like..." she paused, trying to pick the right words so that she wouldn't be an arrogant sod like with the Pinkie Twitch.

"Some pony like me?" Derpy rubbed her hoof against the ground with a small smile of embarrassment. It was no secret that not many ponies thought Derpy was good for anything other than delivering parcels, even then she made mistakes. No pony forgot those mistakes however, no pony hated her, or like her for that matter. Arseholes. She knew everyponies' name and was friendly to them, but she never knew anypony as a friend. "I have a lot of time on my hooves when I'm off duty so I spend my time reading." she shook her head, trying to straighten her eyes, "Though it helps when my eyes don't mess up." Both her and Twilight giggled. Derpy looked at her mailbag, "Oh I almost forgot! Delivery! You're my last stop for the day." she hoofed over a thick parcel to Twilight who held in up with her magic. Unicorns are skivers like that.

After opening the parcel Twilight held up two books, one was a light blue and the other was a dark purple. "I've been waiting for these books since before they came out. Mask in the Mist and Ravens' Burden." Twilight set them both on the table before Derpy.

"Oh I've heard Mask in the Mist is really good. I think they said its about a fox and a cat." Derpy's eyes crossed as she attempted to remember.

"Well its pretty hot out today, you can say here and read it if you want." Twilight offered.

"Really?" Derpy was shocked, but overjoyed like a fat kid given a twix from a guy in a van. "You don't mind?"

"Of course not, after you finish we'll switch and talk about them." Twilight summoned two beanbag chairs next to each other into the room and took Ravens' Burden to one. She also brought the pitcher and cups over. Derpy sat with Mask in the Mist and took off her messager bag. She began to read. She was right about the protagonist being a fox, he was alone in a misty forest. No one particularly liked him for he dawned mask like black markings around his eyes and snout. Of course Derpy sympathized with the character. But she found herself not being able to focus as she stole glances at Twilight, being grateful for the pony's kindness. She didn't understand why she suddenly felt nervous, why her stomach felt strange. She thought to herself that it must've been from flying in the heat. Still she glanced every so often at the purple unicorn who read quietly with a smile occasionally drinking from her glass.

Derpy pretended to read for another couple of moments, she wanted to talk to Twilight more than anything now. She kept quiet though, fearing the attempt may even mess up this seed of friendship. She was tired of messing things up, so she kept silent and lost in thought. She questioned what was going on in the book, since she had not read any of the pages she turned recently. She then wondered what was happening in Twilight's book, she wondered what Twilight was wondering about, she then wondered if Twilight wondered about her wondering. Derpy placed a hoof on her head, all the wondering was starting to hurt.

"Are you alright?" Twilight's voice caused the pegasus to jump and fall over.

Derpy quickly shot back up, "Yeah, I'm okay." Twilight gave a smile and glanced over at Derpy's book.

"How are you enjoying it so far?" Twilight asked as Derpy sat back into her beanbag.

"Oh, ummm." Derpy paused and scratched her head with crossed eyes. "Well I find it easy to understand, the casual way of writing makes it fun and easy to read." she paused again, "Too early to give all my thoughts." She felt she played it off nicely as Twilight went on about her book.

"Though it has an interesting premise, its too dark and action oriented for me. I'm sure Rainbow Dash would like it more than me." Twilight concluded. The sound of thunder made them rush to the window, it was dark and raining. Lightning stuck showing that it was fairly windy as well.

Derpy groaned and hung her head as she slowly moved over to her mailbag, "I should go, before it gets worse."

"Don't be silly, you can stay here." Twilight gave a small smile. Derpy looked wide eyed at the unicorn. Twilight trotted past her into the hallway with her pitcher of water and cups.

"Thank you Twilight." Derpy followed.

"What're friends for?"

Derpy stopped and her eyes crossed, "We're friends?"

"Only if you want to be." Twilight sat towards her. Derpy flew into Twilight and tackled her in an embrace causing the two cups and pitcher to fall before Twilight made them float back up.

Derpy quickly shot back up with a red glow on her face and stuttered, "S-sorry!"

"Its fine, just my magic hiccups when I get surprised." Twilight chuckled. After they ate a dinner of daisy sandwiches, Twilight showed Derpy to the bedroom. "This is my room, sorry but I don't have any sleeping bags. We'll have to share the bed, I think its big enough." Derpy looked around the room, there was a large window to the side of Twilight's bed and a doggy bed on the floor. Derpy wasn't aware Twilight owned a dog. "That's Spike's." Twilight answered Derpy's thought. Spike had not yet returned from the void, which was a good thing.

They were soon over the covers, Derpy was closest to the window. She watched the storm and tried to keep her nerves in check. She looked over at the sleeping pony next to her. Twilight breathed softly and quiety with her back to Derpy. Derpy's earlier nervousness and stomach bug came back, worse even. Derpy laid back and shunk into the sheets. She found it strange that Twilight was nice enough to share even her bed with her. She pondered if all ponies were this nice. She felt among her nervousness, confusion and questions, happiness. She closed her eyes with a smile and allowed sleep to finally sink in.

That was until Twilight turned toward her and rested her legs around Derpy. Derpy laid still in a panic with a hot face and tried desperatly to not allow her wings to flutter. She looked down to see Twilight skooch closer and rest her head on Derpy. The storm was passing and moonlight shined down on them, Derpy just gazed in wonder at the pony. Her coat glistened in the moonlight, she felt warm and soft and looked peaceful. No more than peaceful. Serene, thanks to the thesaurus, and beautiful. Derpy paniced more now that she knew, now that she knew she liked Twilight Sparkle. Not knowing whatelse to do, Derpy calmfully manuvored her forelegs to embace Twilight as they both slept with smiles soundly.

**A/N:** And you thought they would do it! Ha! Actually like in any real working and lasting relationship sex will come later. Maybe like the chapter after this. I don't really ship Twilight and Derpy, I honestly just thought it'd be fun to write and it was! Sorry to all those who either wanted this to be very cute to where you wanted to puke rainbows or very sexy to where you'd be done for the night, well no I'm not sorry I did what I wanted which is try out this snazzy writing style! Please do tell me how it worked out and if I should keep using it. Thank you and goodnight wankers, hopefully you found some other smut to tell all your friends about.


End file.
